©2019 by Daniel Austin.

 

NO ILLUSIONS

LP/CD released August 2016 by Good Fight Music

Recorded and Mixed by Craig Douglas at Origin Sound (Spring, TX)
Mastered by Brad Boadright (Audiosiege)

Concept and Layout by Daniel Austin

Daniel Austin–lyrics, vocals, rythm guitar
Allan Davis–lead guitar
Michael Arellano–drums
Eric Gibson–bass

Steph Huskin–cello, piano, vocal accompaniments



The Last Good Age

It’s been a long time coming  

To the endpoint of our design  

To return to a state of nothing  

In a blink of cosmic time  


Welcome to The Last Good Age  


Cry out  

Let it roar, let it go  

In the twilight

Of the ways we’ve known  


I’ll live for love and freedom  

I’ll strive for peace in our time  

But as The Last Man reigns  

We’ll have nothing of the kind  


Welcome to The Last Good Age


_____



Bear Witness

Stamping down on the face of humanity

The boot arrives—as prophesied—to squash your rights with impunity  

First they bring you the Trojan horse, those fancy things you can't refuse

Too infatuated with yourself to realize you've been subdued


Where is your rage?  

Do you put your trust in those who can take...

Take your rights away?  


Tanks invade city streets   

Rubber bullets, tear gas unleashed  

Upon unarmed crowds  

Witness the boot come stamping down


A sobering dose of reality  

For those behind the veil of luxury  

You now will hear how the unheard speak  

And your sheltered eyes will be forced to see  


Don't lose your rage  

Our lives are cheap to those who can take  

Take our rights away  


The boot arrives as prophesied  

To squash your rights with impunity


_____



Automatons


They come marching in

Barely recognizable as human  

With all weapons drawn  

Acting on beliefs and orders  

Like automatons  


They represent a condition of man  

So frail in the world  

That he submits to a greater force  

To be absolved and relieved of his thoughts  


He functions under illusions  

That he maintains order and peace  

Serving the madness of bad men  

Right to your face  

Taught to see you as vermin  

A constant threat of lower form  

Itching to pull the trigger  

Right in your face  


No rights in times of martial law  

Lost in fog of war  

Through suppression of the press  

He'll "Serve and protect"  


Whose conscience does he serve  

When he aims his gun at your face?  


Lower or higher—a choice we're all free to make  

Lower or higher—subjugate or educate?  


They come marching in....  


They represent a condition of man  

So frail in the world  

That he submits to a greater force  

To be absolved and relieved...  

…So the war rages on


 _____


You Will Be Forgiven

Relieve your soul of its burdens  

And lay your weary head to rest  

Take comfort in your delusions  

You will be forgiven  


For your willful complicity  

In our culture's routine crimes  

For all the holy hate you spew  

You will be forgiven  


Repent  

Accept  

If there's one world that is true  

It's this one that you abuse  


But you know not what you do


_____


God’s Promises

Despair in the land of Abraham

Where God's promises remain unfulfilled  

And "kill or be killed" is the law of the land

"Thou shalt not kill" forgotten by zealous men  


He commanded  

And you followed  

Prepared to cut  

Your own son's throat  


As numerous as the stars in the sky  

The bodies piled in His name  

As your descendants struggle for life  

Over territorial claims  


Surely a God who can part the seas  

Can bring you just a bit of peace  

He promised the cities of your enemies  

But all you get is unrest...   

Because you serve and obey


Despair in the land of Abraham  

Where God's promises remain unfulfilled


_____


Fragile Thing

 The human mind is a fragile thing  

A tangled mess of instinct and doctrine  

Haunted by the truth of insignificance  

I know you need to be loved, and I know you just want to belong

I hope we all find peace before we die  


Because love is scarce in this world  

With life overflowing, expendable  

Pledge allegiance to the tribe  

Climb the ranks and pray

That you don't get eaten alive  


The web you weave is a fragile thing  

A clusterfuck of ego and symbols  

Threatened by the things you don't understand  

I know you are quick to hate ‘cause I know you just want to belong  

Few things give us meaning like enemies  


Likewise, peace is scarce in this world  

With life overflowing, disposable  

No room at the table for us all  

Climb the ranks with pride but don't kid yourself

We're pack animals


Though I’m judging you, do what you have to do  

I'll do the same  

We crave meaning in a cruel universe  

Sanity's a fragile thing  

When the walls close in we won't be of kin  

Morals cannot tame the will to survive or be recognized  

Civility's a fragile thing  


Though I’m judging you, do what you have to do  

We crave meaning in a cruel universe  

When the walls close in we won't be of kin  

We'll plunge into chaos—competition!  

Our illusions are fragile things

  

_____


Providence

Can you explain your suffering  

By other means than Providence?  

Don't question His wisdom,  

But what about His cruel indifference  

To the faithful—those who serve and obey?  

To the children—those who didn't do anything?


Fortune, misfortune  

No reason, no rhyme  

You can have it all like Job  

But like Job, you can lose it in time  

Why must you suffer  

As the wicked prosper?  

And must you listen to Him condescend  

To you from a fucking whirlwind?  


Toil in the realm  

Of His holy care  

He'll give and he'll take  

Exalt or forsake  

For reasons He won't explain  


You'll never know  

The reason for your pain  

Or the meaning of the rain  

Oh, what mysterious ways  

Is He  worthy of your  praise?  


"A vast silence reigned over the land. The land itself was a desolation, lifeless, without movement, so lone and cold that the spirit of it was not even that of sadness. There was a hint in it of laughter, but of a laughter more terrible than any sadness...It was the masterful and incommunicable wisdom of eternity laughing at the futility of life and the effort of life." (Jack London)

_____


I Repent

You were a mistake  

I'm sorry, I don't mean to berate  

I made you to adore  

But you're a monster and I can't love you anymore  

I was lonely and desperate  

A little too human for my own good

I just wanted a friend  

But you're a demon and now I  repent  


You ruin all that you touch  

I gave you the world, but it wasn't enough  

I curse the day you were born  

What the fuck was I thinking?  

You ruin all that you touch  

I gave you free will, but it was too much  

Now look what you've done  

You are my greatest mistake  


You were meant to be  

The paragon, the missing piece,  

My dearest company,  

Made in my image, and yet you disgust me  


You ruin all that you find  

I gave you my love, but you weren't satisfied  

Always desperate for more  

What the fuck was I thinking?

You ruin all that you find  

That is the nature of human kind  

So I blame myself  

You are my greatest mistake  


You—you are a virus  

A fucking cancer, a true disaster  

And I'm your maker  

I—I am not perfect  

Not omnipresent, not omnipotent  

You are the evidence  

And I repent  


I regret the day you were born

_____

 

Surplus Life

Surplus lives

Condemned to

Suffer for  

No reward or cosmic purpose  


Stories untold  

Worse than your own  

Systems can't hold  

As numbers explode  


Wander the streets  

Nothing to eat  

World of concrete  

Parasites, violence, and disease  


Stories untold  

Worse than your own  

Systems can't hold  

As numbers explode  


Surplus life  

Discarded  

Forgotten  

No reason  

_____


Mortal/Eternal

Spawned upon "a mote of dust

Suspended in a sunbeam"  

Housed in flesh that blooms and decays  

With an intellect we deem separate  

From the guts of exploded stars  

And billions of other precious accidents,  

Those forms of life we don't understand  

We're more like them than we can admit  


Mortal/Eternal, all at once  

An evolution of gas and dust  

Given the chance to contemplate  

The pain of a world made not for us  


Born from a mother whose lot is to suffer  

The sins of the father unreconciled  

He slays his brother, over and over

Till the dying sun swallows the earth   


Nothing and something, all at once  

With inclinations to violence  

Given the chance to multiply  

The pain of a world made not for us  


Mortal/Eternal  

Tread like gods  

Mortal/Eternal  

Perish like parasites  


So you want to live forever?  

And so you shall…  

Your oxygen as ether  

Your carbon as dust

_____


Spared

Son, you're one of the lucky ones  

To be spared what's after birth  

To be spared living among  

The killers and undead who rule the Earth  

You'll never know their world of lies  

You'll never succumb to the Lord of the Flies  

This is the best I can give you  

You'll never have to suffer the fools


Impulse and instinct cloud all judgment sound  

Reason and mercy shall dictate now  


How could I justify inflicting consciousness  

Upon one so innocent with this world as it is?


Son, you're one of the lucky ones...  


I let the cancer run its course  

And spare you from its wanton hordes  

This is the best I can give you

You'll never have to suffer the fools


______


Thorn and Thistle

I call, I cling, I want

And there is no One to answer  

No One on Whom I can cling  

Alone …  Where is my Faith?  

Even deep down right in, there is nothing…   

But emptiness & darkness   

How painful is this unknown pain  

I have no Faith..  

I dare not utter the words and thoughts that crowd in my heart  

And make me suffer untold agony  

So many unanswered questions live within me  

Afraid to uncover them because of the blasphemy  

When I try to raise my thoughts to Heaven   

There is such convicting emptiness   

That those very thoughts return like sharp knives and hurt my very soul  

I am told God loves me  

Yet the reality of darkness and coldness and emptiness  

Is so great that nothing touches my soul…  

But emptiness and darkness   

How painful is this unknown pain  

I have no Faith…  

I have no Faith…

(adapted from Mother Teresa’s private letters on her secret loss of faith)

_____


No Illusions

He peered into   

The depths from which few ever return  

He saw us clinging to a dying world  

With petty illusions  


Once cast out, the truth becomes clear  

And you'll never be as you were before  

When the veil of myth is stripped from your eyes  

You'll wish you had stayed blind  


Set adrift, propelling through space and time  

Meaningless in our race for resources  

He saw no purpose  

And descended further into  

The depths of vice and madness, unglued  

Craving escape and distraction  

To cope with the pain of separation  


Once cast out, the truth becomes clear  

And you'll never be as you were before  

When the veil of myth is stripped from your eyes  

You may wish you could die  


To be released  

Released from this world  

At last

Burdened no more  


To return  

Return to the womb

Of the Earth  

Forever more  


Released  

Released from this world  

At last  

Burdened no more

_____


Resolve

I keep living despite my better judgement  

Trying to outlast the disappointment  

Of living among the absurd and cruel  

I keep living in hopes of future raptures:   

Little deaths, creative flight, hysterical laughter...  

Whatever helps me to forget what's true  


I'll lose myself inside of you  

To ease the pain of consciousness  

But there are aches that love can’t soothe  

When one stares long into  

This abyss…  


I keep loving because love is all we have  

It’s all that can relieve and redeem the worst of man  

Maybe, just maybe, we can evolve…  

I keep loving because I have to reaffirm  

A little light and salvage it for what it’s worth  

This is my resolve  


I'll lose myself inside of you  

To ease the pain of being doomed  

Only love can fill the void  

An illusion I must not undo  

Not undo  


There was a night in my youth  

A lonely moment of epiphany  

With my feet planted on concrete, I looked to the sky  

And suddenly it all became so clear:  

No one up there to hear my prayers,  

Nature and man red in tooth and claw,  

And all my pain is mine to own (it’s mine to hone)  


“How do I proceed from here?”  

I thought about dying constantly  

I learned to bear the weight of years  

Despite the absurdity of living…  

Of suffering…  


I keep living  

I keep loving  

I keep learning  

I keep growing  


I keep living  

Because I’m already here